Sunday, May 30, 2010 Y 12:49 AM


Been a decade since I last updated my bloggie. Well yea, life has been so tough. Hardly have time to stare at my Ms. Lappie anymore <3> First of all, I'm having a huge financial breakdown now. Money has always been a huge issue in my life. Yea ok.. my pay is good.. but too many commitments..almost half of my pay GONE! at this age dont expect me to earn 10k a month to pay up all this debts! +_+ I know I can do this and I know I can be strong like how mum used to be. I know this is all just an obstacle in life which everyone have to go through. But I'm not strong anymore, I can't do it anymore. I don't perform in anything like how i used to shine when I was younger. It's true, when you have money, you have all the friends that you need in this whole wide world. but when you need help, even the closest person to you might not be able to help you out. To me, marrying a rich man just to fulfill you dreams and getting what you want is just being so materialistic and STUPID. But I dont blame THEM, THE PEOPLE who do so cuz they were just finding the solution to end their misery. You give some you loose some. Nothing in this world comes for FREE. I thought of getting married by mid of next year, but I dont think I am gonna do so. I will just make my life even WORSE. Unless if he change his attitude by hook or by crook. I choose to be with him but i dont wanna suffer anymore and if we ever gonna get married i want it to last forever after! FINANCIAL has always been the issue why we end up arguing ever since the pass years.. over n over again. I need to end this NOW! I cant afford to cry anymore :(
I have taken all the efforts to help you change but it seems useless. You say you wanna change and to give you time but all the time that I had given you has gone to waste. Yes, you spend most of your precious time with me, but I need a life time guarantee that FINANCIALLY you can take care of me and not vice versa. Writing this blog ain't about blaming. It's just that..I dont know what else to do. Each time when I asked for a break up you say you love me and you say you will change but you never take the CHANGE seriously. Im never fade up with you, im never bored with you but I JUST WANT THINGS TO CHANGE FOR GOOD. cuz if this keeps on going, I'm gonna end up being a psycho! A last wish from you lil princess here, I just wish we could be just like other ordinary couples out there. When HE comes before HER.