Been a decade since I last updated my bloggie. Well yea, life has been so tough. Hardly have time to stare at my Ms. Lappie anymore <3> First of all, I'm having a huge financial breakdown now. Money has always been a huge issue in my life. Yea ok.. my pay is good.. but too many commitments..almost half of my pay GONE! at this age dont expect me to earn 10k a month to pay up all this debts! +_+ I know I can do this and I know I can be strong like how mum used to be. I know this is all just an obstacle in life which everyone have to go through. But I'm not strong anymore, I can't do it anymore. I don't perform in anything like how i used to shine when I was younger. It's true, when you have money, you have all the friends that you need in this whole wide world. but when you need help, even the closest person to you might not be able to help you out. To me, marrying a rich man just to fulfill you dreams and getting what you want is just being so materialistic and STUPID. But I dont blame THEM, THE PEOPLE who do so cuz they were just finding the solution to end their misery. You give some you loose some. Nothing in this world comes for FREE. I thought of getting married by mid of next year, but I dont think I am gonna do so. I will just make my life even WORSE. Unless if he change his attitude by hook or by crook. I choose to be with him but i dont wanna suffer anymore and if we ever gonna get married i want it to last forever after! FINANCIAL has always been the issue why we end up arguing ever since the pass years.. over n over again. I need to end this NOW! I cant afford to cry anymore :(
I have taken all the efforts to help you change but it seems useless. You say you wanna change and to give you time but all the time that I had given you has gone to waste. Yes, you spend most of your precious time with me, but I need a life time guarantee that FINANCIALLY you can take care of me and not vice versa. Writing this blog ain't about blaming. It's just that..I dont know what else to do. Each time when I asked for a break up you say you love me and you say you will change but you never take the CHANGE seriously. Im never fade up with you, im never bored with you but I JUST WANT THINGS TO CHANGE FOR GOOD. cuz if this keeps on going, I'm gonna end up being a psycho! A last wish from you lil princess here, I just wish we could be just like other ordinary couples out there. When HE comes before HER.



Sometimes, i just don't understand these few bunch of people whom I call friends. I just don't know what do they want in order someone can be consider as A FRIEND.

Honestly, this scenario isn't new for me. It happens ever since primary school. Good friends all turned into foes at the of the day. At first, I tried to understand, was is just me that I tend to loose friends most of the time? I guess I was by their side most of the time. I even sometimes put them in front rather than my family.

Probably the problem is me I guess. That's why I loose them. Is it just so wrong to be busy with work? finding money for my own satisfaction? for my mum and future? Or is it just so wrong to have my bf to come back home early just so that he will have a good rest before he go to work the next day? Or is it a crime to spend my precious time with my bf whenever I have the time? (FYI.. my time is like so precious.. since I have to work 6days a week and shift basis whereby my BF works 9-7 everyday). Must I be the only one who have to start texting and calling them to ask them out?

Sometimes, I just don't understand, a few of them would just feel so offended for some reason which I don't know WHAT IS IT? I don't back stab my true friends..but why must they? treating people like an outsider? as if we don't exist there..like hello... when you need help.. to whom did u turn urself to? ME ME n ME. Whenever THEY ALL NEED HELP.. why must you find ME.. if i am such a bad friend huh? sigh..

I know who my real friends are.. if you wanna play the "idiots with 2 faces game" yeaa.. let's do it! but unfortunately i don't have time to play that stupid game which only immature will do. Get a life! Try to be real friends rather then US all backstabbing each other from behind and pretend to be BESTFRIEND in from of each other. pfftt!



Dear Bloggie,
This is my definition of love to him :)


(Everything I Do) I Do it For You - Bryan Adams


Look into my eyes - you will see
What you mean to me
Search your heart - search your soul
And when you find me there you'll search no more

Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for
You know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

Look into your heart - you will find
There's nothin' there to hide
Take me as I am - take my life
I would give it all - I would sacrifice

Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you

There's no love - like your love
And no other - could give more love
There's nowhere - unless you're there

All the time - all the way

Oh - you can't tell me it's not worth tryin' for
I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more
I would fight for you - I'd lie for you
Walk the wire for you - ya I'd die for you

Ya know it's true
Everything I do - I do it for you










Dear Love,




--> ENJOYING my new work place. yea yea yea.. back as a hotelier in Mandarin Oriental Hotel..Kuala Lumpur.. a lil tough.. but watever.. atleast i'm doin things that i have passion in ritey?

--> FRIENDS? same o' same. I miss my 3 beshties sisters.. Usmie.. Erien and Iera.. those were the times. Ups n Downs ..laughters and tears.. how I wish we can have like a reunion AGAIN.. but this time.. a VACATION reunion.. shud be fun kan? hehe.. (sorry ..cuz i have like this ISSUES with this CAPS LOCK.. trying to express my emotions in my blog since these days i am so EMOTION-LESS.. so..blablablaaaa)

--> Deariee Ikin n Apek came for a short holiday in KL. unfortunately i had to do afternoon shift so i have to like spend my time with them at night. aww...all plans RUINEEEE! 1st nite..dropped them at heritage for clubbings..(i cant go since bf said no more clubsiess fer mwaaa)..next day took them to hartamas... tibe2 Hartamas was like so KOSONG daripada so damn PACKED usually. forgot it was monday night. geez. the last night i was like planning to take them to go for shisha..kat Carlos at Pavillion.. again.. i dunno since when that place start to close at 12am.. am I just so outdated or wot??! ok so we crossed the street to lecka-lecka..tu pun they had did the last call.. who cares??!! fewh.. few pictures.. i uploaded at my FB.. sikit jee i realize.. :( so i plan to go to s'pore instead..hopefully soon....heeeeeeeeee :D

--> yes, i'm still in love with BF..Hafiz. Many things happened recently.. but he never got tired being with me.. nomatter how much i bugged him.. tortured him ... hurt him.. i sound BAD already rite? imagine he has been there all this time...suffered.. but yea.. i can't find anyone who's better then him out there anymore.. i just wish we'll have a happy ending together ..marriage..babies...weee.. honeymoons.. anniversaries... family vacations..till our last breath together.. :) (i sound like a burden already kan..heee) i love you Mohd Hafiz <3





I get angry all the time, and I don't know why
Its not only because of you, its my fault too
To be honest I have to admit, my reasons aren't very legit
And to be mad at you, a real girlfriend should hardly do


All I ever do now is get mad, then cause you to be sad
After I do, I honestly feel extremely bad
Getting angry, making you sad, telling you what do
How can you put up with the things I put you through?

The truth is you're a great boyfriend without me knowing it
I realize now you just have a different way of showing it
Having to change who you are because of me, Definately wouldn't make me happy

So please don't because I really like you the way you are
Even though it might make loving you hard.

You're all I could ever want.
You're all I need.
And there is noone better than you.


I'm sorry for all the arguments sayang.. i love you ♥




The shortest career path i had ever been through. 7 Days to be exact! HAHAHA :)
Amazing kan?? Well yea.. it was still a great experience in Public Bank though..
to learn something which i'm totally blurrrr off... numbers!!
like I have any Idea about what is the definition of Insurance Policies.. gahahaa~ :p

I'm leaving for Mandarin Oriental Hotel.. yeaaappp!~
Finally back as a hotelier.. nuf said..hehe~ xD

My Public Bank ID Card (#47104) as memory of the 7 glorious days with the Bank ♥